love the ones your with

It’s transfer season in the foreign service. As some friends are packing out and shifting their gears for tours in Kabul, Brasilia, Shanghai or Tel Aviv, new arrivals are stepping off the planes to fill their spots. We were the social sponsors for a family who came in last week. After fielding many questions and doing what we could to soften their landing, Snakes met them at the airport with a chicken and rice dinner, a pineapple upside down cake and a bowl of fresh water for their dog. We spent the afternoon with them on Saturday, getting groceries and playing tour guides. They have a daughter who is very close in age to the bushbaby. It was so much fun to observe them together with their squealy call and response banter. With so many similarities, they could almost be twins.

On Sunday we hosted a little play date brunch. There were 5 kids and 11 adults. It delights me to see Colette interacting with kids her age; reverently watching the older ones chattering, yelping and skittering around and getting up close and personal with her newest friend. Monday, we attended a weekly play group for our third time that is hosted by a French family who lives a few blocks away. And since the pool at the embassy is closed for maintenance, tomorrow we are planning to venture bravely into the tangle of city streets to visit some friends at their apartment’s pool. My first time driving out of our neighborhood! As pathetic as that sounds, (I have been here for over a year, after all) I am exhilarated to have such a task on my calendar that reminds me just a little of who I used to be, someone who had the option to leave the house at will. This dash of independence makes me a little woozy.

These play groups we’ve been attending are obviously as much for the parents as the babes. Making friends in the foreign service is a quick and dirty affair and you have to trust your instincts. We could learn a thing or two from the baldies. It’s not like in the “real world” where you have the luxury of years to casually let your friendship evolve over early Saturday mornings trolling yard sales, sharing favorite recipes, kicking back with a latte while your kids tear around the playground, hitting up the clearance racks at Anthro while reminding eachother that just because that ill-fitting see-through beaded maxi dress is 75% off, it does not mean it suits you…aw, come on, let’s go get cupcakes instead.

If you sense you may like someone or have any similarities at all- you’ve got to dive right in, hope for the best and enjoy it while it lasts because it’s likely that in less than a year, one of you is going to be packing your bags.

first mother’s day

Last Sunday we were invited to a mother daughter tea party, hosted by some ladies from the embassy and their daughters. We began our day with a walk to the embassy and a pancake breakfast by Snakes. He generously offered to be our chauffeur to the party also. Because he’s a runner, he has a much greater handle on the layout and flow of the city. Me? Not so much. I drive the four blocks to and from the embassy to pick up mail. I know I need to get over it but with reports of expats getting their windows smashed while stuck in traffic and tightened security telling us that we’re forbidden to drive on certain roads, I’m in no real hurry.

We had a really great time. I love to see the bushbaby squealing with delight at all the other kids. I need these reminders of how important it is for me to leave the house and interact with something besides the computer screen. I went through a minor dark spell last week (sounds so crazy now) where I couldn’t force myself out. I kept thinking, “what if I leave the house and I feel worse? what then? at least this way I’ve got that hope to cling to- that things might be better if I packed us up and walked down to the embassy- but if I do it and don’t feel any better, well then I’m not even left with that hope!” Totally nuts, right?

While we were back in the states, my mom and her husband had hosted a little get together so Colette could meet her great-aunts. As usual, we were showered with much generosity (thank you thank you thank you all!!), which included the above outfit. It was a huge hit with the other mamas, young girls and the guards. My frilly little party favor and greatest accessory! If this ruffly love bug isn’t a panacea, then I doubt one exists.

Trying to get back into the swing of posting regularly. Since returning a month ago, I’ve been reestablishing a new rhythm. I think I may even sense a pattern emerging with nap times. I’ve also lined up a sitter to come by for a few hours each week, starting next month. She’s the daughter of our medical officer here at post. They only live a short distance away and she LOVES the bushbaby! So while she has her summer break, she’ll come by to watch Colette while I get back into my studio and take care of things around the house that require my full attention. I’ll still be here in case anything runs amok.

there and back again

After a grumpy week of confused late night adjustments, I believe we have all recovered from our jet lagging travels. My wits are just now starting to return. I wanted to write while I was back in the states, but quite frankly, there was just too much to catch up with. The Bushbaby and I began our journey in mid-March with a 3 week visit with my sister and her family. I can’t imagine a softer landing. The french doors from the guest room opened to a generous Colorado sky and the snowy mountains beyond. America the beautiful, dressed in her modest and rugged heartland finery.

The air was cool and clean, a nearly consistent and perfect forecast in the mid-60s, low 70s. Daily walks through her foot-hilly neighborhood flushed our cheeks pink and challenged my low-lander lungs and muscles. I snuggled my little african bundle tightly into the stroller and marveled (AGAIN) over the things I’ve taken for granted in my life. Trash bins and public parks with cute little baby swings, countless places to just WALK. My God, how simple and lovely this life can be.

After 3 weeks of spicy baby salad greens, sweet cousin kisses & squeezes, rich creamy lattes and plenty of retail therapy, we said our teary goodbyes and flew into Michigan to reunite with Snakes and visit with the rest of my family in the Grand Rapids area. Since it was the Bushbaby’s inaugural visit, my dad took a few days off work to spend some time getting to know his newest granddaughter. He also arranged a SERIOUS pinball fix for us one evening at the home of one of his pinball buddies. Honestly, this guy had no fewer than 20 different machines, all in mint condition. I strapped Colette on with a forward facing Bjorn and played, uninterrupted, for about an hour. It is our greatest regret that we never bought a machine before coming to Luanda. It would have been money very well spent.

Many visits with family, friends in Detroit, a couple of old favorite food haunts, and the week flew by. We spent the final week in Bethlehem, PA with Snakes’ family. My MIL had arranged a big brunchy party for everyone to come and meet the Bushbabe that weekend we arrived. Though exhausting, it was a great way to pack A LOT of visiting into just a few hours. That week we managed to squeeze in a date (!), more shopping and visiting and a family photo shoot. Even though we promised ourselves to have a relaxing R & R, I wonder if it’s really possible. There is always something more to do, see and EAT.

As the week came to a close and our flight time loomed large, I could feel my anxiety building. Life is SO easy in the states. The ideas of “seeing the world” and “experiencing other cultures” (and learning so so so much about ourselves in the process) remain enticing. But when the lilac bushes are bursting at their seams, begging me to pick an armload and press my whole face into them and we’re stuck inside rearranging, weighing our luggage, organizing our stash of broccoli, asparagus, cheeses and miso paste, the reality of this life hits me. It’s incredibly hard work. Living so far from family, friends and the ease of familiarity.

I can’t think too much about what I’m missing now that we’re back, it’s a dangerously slippery slope. I need to find that little space where I am simply grateful for each and every thing. I need to take that “little space” and work on making it much bigger. I need to make sure I force myself out of the house every day. I need to find time for my studio. One year over. One year left. It’s getting better all the time.

onward

Oh what a life! One email from DC just set the direction of our course until around December 2015. It’s stuff like this that makes me scratch my head in amazement that we’ve chosen such a lifestyle. It is exciting but pretty unsettling too. We submitted our bidlist a few weeks ago, said a little prayer and built our mini shrine.  We received notice yesterday that after our tour in Luanda is completed in April of 2013, we’ll be headed for Santiago, Chile. We’ll be in the states for around 8 months for language classes and home leave. (I imagine this news will make some grandparents out there very happy!) Visitors? Until I have time to do a little research-this will have to suffice!

And now since Bushbaby and I are rumored to be leaving for R & R on Friday- I should really get packing. (or maybe not- would you believe that after 2 SOLID months of working with the travel office, I STILL do not have our tickets for a flight that leaves the day after tomorrow?)

 

little trip to heaven

About a month ago, we packed it up and took our show on the road for our first family vacation in Cape Town, South Africa. The bushbaby returned to her motherland.

This area of the world is GORGEOUS. While stationed here in Luanda, a visit to Cape Town is on the must do list. Our first day there, my eyes welled with tears. Such beauty exists! All on its own, such lush and natural beauty. I took over a thousand pictures but they never do justice. The air was so thick with salty oxygen, no trace of the bitter diesel fumes and steamy urine to which I’ve become accustomed. We could breathe deeply and fully for the first time in months.

We stayed at Chapman’s Peak Hotel in Hout Bay, just 20 minutes from the city center. I debated renting a 1-2 bedroom apartment but decided on a decent sized hotel room in the end. I may revisit that option in the future. We made it work with the hotel-furnished pack-n-play, but it would have been nice to have an actual door to shut once she was snoozing. Those of you who travel with kids, do you prefer to rent self-catering apartments?

Our immediate area was a fishing community with loads of fresh catch restaurants and fishmongers. Every morning the Bushbaby and Snakes would go for a nice long walk on the beach across from our hotel (pictured above) while I slept in or sipped coffee on our patio. We spent our days exploring the peninsula: penguins in Simons Town, a baboon sighting on our way to Cape of Good Hope, an ostrich farm, endless empty beaches, Table Mountain top vistas, shopping in the city. (Funny side note: while searching for a camera cord on the V & A Waterfront, I ran into this FSO, whom I immediately recognized from her blog! It’s a little weird to know so many intimate details of people’s lives when you’ve never even met them before. And a kinda creepy too, right?)

My one regret (rather predictably) is that we didn’t budget more time for the wineries. (Reason enough for a return visit!) We had rented a car for the 10 days we were there and drove the 45 minutes to the Stellenbosch countryside one Sunday afternoon. By the end of our ONE (and only….) winery visit, we were already reformulating our retirement plans. And I was the only one who had a glass of wine.

Now, with the news of our next post coming down the pipeline this week and only 4 more sleeps until the Bushbaby and I set off for the first stop (of 3) on the 2012 home leave whirlwind tour, excitement looms large! First stop: Denver. Second post……?…..stay tuned!

times like these

Saturday was our third annual Valentines dinner party. Delayed for good reason- we were in Cape Town!! I made and delivered invitations last week to a lucky handful, just before we left town. (More on our getaway soon!)

The seven course menu with links to recipes where possible:

1. Sundried tomato pesto with homemade sesame flatbread
2. Proscuitto stuffed mushroom caps
3. salad greens with roasted pears, candied pecans and gorgonzola biscuits
4. fennel, shrimp, fish soup
5. grapefruit sorbet
6. filet with bernaise, mashed potatoes, roasted asparagus
7. Snakes’ famous 15 layer lemon crepe cake

Everything turned out really well. It helped that we had just returned from South Africa days before toting a suitcase bulging with beef tenderloins, cremini mushrooms, asparagus and ruby red grapefruit. Preparation kept me busy for two days and then clean up another. Three solid days filled! This may sound like senseless masochistic misery to some but distractions like this are my sanity in Luanda where watching the sunlight pass through the living room generally occupies most of my afternoons.

Each year I like to make a small take home goody for the guests. Last year it was a little bag of homemade marshmallows. The year before that was coffee toffee. (Wow, that seems like several lifetimes ago!) This time, perhaps a little too ambitiously, I tackled homemade poptarts. I made a double batch, filling half with raspberry jam and others with nutella. I wrapped one of each flavor into a neat little package. They weren’t much to look at but sweet mercy, if I may say so, those babies were perfect with coffee the next morning. Our table was decorated with vintage doilies made by Snakes’ grandmother (correct me if I’m wrong on that one, V.) It was wonderful to expand the table to its full capacity and squeeze friends in all around. Times like these I count my blessings and I am happy. Times like these remind me that despite the frustration or loneliness that trips us up, we can still fashion a little smiling, laughing, toasting slice of normal. Times like these justify dragging so many dishes across the ocean.

invited

Invitations are complete. The Bushbaby and I delivered them to the embassy last week. Of course we’ve had a few dinner parties here in Luanda already, but this one is the granddaddy: our Third Annual Valentine’s Feast. We will prepare a 6 course meal for ourselves and 9 others. Stay tuned for details of the menu and inevitable hijinx. Here’s hoping all your Valentines were dipped in chocolate, washed down with pink bubbly and covered with love and kisses. Happy belated, my friends. xo

shipwreck beach

Saturday morning we joined a group from the embassy for a field trip to one of the few  nearby destinations. We are discouraged from traveling too far outside of the city on our own and forbidden to do so into the countryside.  I wish we’d known of these restrictions before coming here, since one of the greatest things about being in the foreign service is having the opportunity to explore the city and country in which one is living.

Shipwreck beach is just over 20 miles from the city but with Luanda’s infamously choked traffic, it took us over 2 hours each way. Snakes joked that if we were stationed in Brussels, we’d be arriving in Paris soon. This reminded me of when we were studying at FSI and one of our instructors always referred to Luanda as “the Paris of Africa”. Hmmm, granted I’ve only been to Paris once and I have always taken pride in my active and generous imagination but, honestly, I’m not seeing it.

We threw together a small picnic and set off around 8am. We didn’t bring the dogs, though we should have. There were only a handful of other people wandering the rusty barge boneyard. When boats in the Luanda harbor are no longer seaworthy, this is where they once retired. It was stunning in that depressing “ruin-porn” kind of post-apocalyptic way. Massive barges, freighters and fishing boats rusted out, capsized and drifting ashore.

We didn’t spend as much time as I’d have liked at this incredibly photogenic spot. It’d be great to return much earlier to avoid traffic and take advantage of the early morning light. The bushbaby enjoyed the fresh air, open vistas from her papa’s shoulders and her first toe-dip in the Atlantic.

That night, tucked safely into our clean and comfy beds, my mind was cycling through images from the day, trying to wrap my head around all I’d seen. Sometimes it’s just too much to process. It’s overwhelming and exhausting. I always feel guilty for not doing more, having been simply born into the privilege and responsibility of being an American, the dizzying advantage of a birthright which so many have forgotten or never realize to begin with.

living room- before & after

As most of you know, the USG generously provides our housing and its furnishings at the majority of posts across the globe. We are allowed to ship a certain weight allowance of our own things based on family size. In a post like Luanda where daily movement is restricted and options for weekend exploration are limited, creating a comfy, clean and colorful home is paramount to one’s happiness.  We were told by others to bring small items (lamps, side tables, rugs, art, tchotchkes, etc) to personalize and in doing so, rid the space of that predictable ‘foreign service look” that we all know and love. I hope to post more entries from other rooms in our house as I complete them, but since decorating activity is dictated by nap time windows, it’s just the living room for now.

The below “before” shot could have been taken at any number of foreign service homes around the world: standard issue Drexel Heritage sofa with brown lacquered side and coffee tables, brass lamps with dusty pleated white shades, and creamy white walls.  I began by having the warehouse guys haul away as much as possible. They have a tendency to pack these places to the gills.

First on the agenda was to address the sofas. The color combo wasn’t doing favors for anyone but the dirt it was clearly designed to camouflage. That strong pattern insisted that I wouldn’t be able to solve this problem by simply tossing on a couple of fresh throw pillows. I’d have preferred to make slipcovers myself to get exactly what I was looking for, but since fabrics here are limited to African prints, I decided that might be a bit much. Plus I’d already replaced the dark brown curtains (in this next photo which is on the opposite side of the living room) with some more airy and casual fabric I found here in Luanda.
After consulting the facebook “foreign service blogger” group, I was pointed in the direction of these slipcovers from IKEA. They come in many different colors, patterns and price points. Of course the ones I decided on were on the pricier end, but what a difference! The key is that they are multiple pieces, a separate cover for every cushion. I am amazed at how well they fit, pretty close to tailor made.The second order of business was greenery. I’ve always had a lush collection of houseplants, our home felt so sterile without them. I had found a lovely fern at the grocery store a while back, but I wasn’t willing to part with the $90 it was commanding to join us. In the end, I dug some spiky snake plants from our yard and transplanted them into containers we dragged along. I also nip branches from the scraggly front yard for other green little flourishes.

The photo wall was a project I’ve always wanted to tackle, even more so now that we’re far away. I found this frame set, which shipped hassle-free through the diplomatic pouch. Our walls are concrete so hanging things requires a work order and workmen with a masonry bit. Since the fish to fry in the Luanda housing pool are WAY bigger than my decorating issues, I opted to use these sticky 3m strips to hang everything in place. They’ve worked great so far. Nothing has come crashing down. Of course there are loads of other things I’d like to tweak, but for now this will do. I never really feel like I’m “done” decorating, do you? There will always be fresh temptations and treasures to add and edit. And God willing, plenty of safe and snuggly places to nap. 

holidays

The holidays have come and gone. The embassy was operating with a skeleton crew as most people were taking advantage of this sleepy holiday time to get out of dodge. Unfortunately this group did not include yours truly. We stuck around, fantasizing about where we might be next year this time.

The lost pouch came through on the last possible day before the holiday weekend, a minor Christmas miracle since it contained all of the packages from our families. I will have to encourage them to ship holiday goodies mid-October next year. Snakes spoiled me with gifts galore from the duty free airport shopping on his way back to Luanda. He also found a beautiful bracelet for me at an artists’ collective in Rio, a magnificent city indeed. If it is on our bid list, he insists we need to consider it very seriously as an option for our next post. I’m hoping we have the opportunity to return for another temporary assignment before our tour here is up.

One minor bummer (which in the grand scheme of things is no biggie) was that there’s no Santa in Luanda! As friends filled my facebook feed with smiling, scowling and sobbing pictures of their kids on Santa’s lap, I realized that we wouldn’t be getting one done for The Bushbaby. Like I said, not the end of the world, but it just made me a little sad. The season wasn’t punctuated with many festive events at all. Ever the problem solver, my guy leapt into action buying not only a Santa suit but a gorilla one as well. He reasoned that  it’s one thing to be without a Santa when you need one but sorry is the man who finds himself unable to deliver when the call goes out for a gorilla at the party. Extreme hijinx like this, my friends, are why I love that man.

We hosted a Christmas Day brunch at our place. Later in the afternoon we went for a family stroll through the neighborhood. (A friend was along and took the pictures.) There were crowds of kids clamoring to pet the mastiff. I’ve never seen such appreciation for the gentle breed as I’ve seen here on the streets of Luanda. Curiously the muddog wasn’t given the rockstar reception. I suppose he’s more of an acquired, refined taste.

On Monday we joined some friends for a trip to a beach here in the city. It was off the coast of the Ilha, which is a little peninsula with a few restaurants and clubs, one of the nicer places in the city. It was the Bushbaby’s first trip to the ocean. I elected not to dip her toes in after I eyed the sneakers, plastic bags and debris rolling in with each wave. We spent a little time cooling off at the embassy pool instead.

New Years Eve we celebrated our third anniversary by preparing a nice dinner for ourselves after The Bushbaby was asleep. A poached egg topped green salad with gorgonzola, drizzled with balsamic glaze, roasted duck a l’orange with Christmas limas sauteed with garlic and collards. For dessert I made a peach buckle with the (surprisingly) gorgeous fresh peaches from Samtrex (the South African grocer). My romantic(?) lover surprised me with “A Year of Beans” from Rancho Gordo. I’ve been ordering from these guys for a few years now and am always impressed by their selection and quality. If you’re a fan of the humble bean and her countless varieties, it’s a nice little treat that ships well through the pouch.

Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement and love this past year. Finding out I was pregnant, moving here, solo med-evac to Johannesburg, having a BABY…whew. Sounds crazy, but at times your comments and feedback are my lifeline. It makes me feel like maybe I’m not so alone and some days that makes all the difference in the world. I wish you all a New Year filled with the people and things that make your heart sing and the comforting knowledge that we are all in this together. Summed up nicely by a quote from one of my favorites in The Bushbaby’s library, All The World: “Peace and hope and love and trust, All the world is all of us.”